A friend and I are off on an escape weekend: her from her hectic job and me from any form of family obligations. Today we had a very interesting conversation about how possibly media, particularly cell phones and blackberrys, beget social misbehaviour. The reason we started talking about this topic was because of this article I read on BlogHer today.
The gist of my friend’s and my ensuing discussion is that we are convinced that all the different forms of communication media isn’t helping us to communicate better and it is also possibly resulting in poor social behaviour. And this, purely because social etiquette instructions are missing in all the devices’ operational manuals.
Just a quick example about what I mean by social misbehaviour… Years ago it was socially unacceptable to be late for a dinner date. Now you just call the person on their cell phone and say something mundane like, “Sorry, blah blah blah (Excuse 1, Unforseen Circumstance 2, Lie 3) and so I’ll be twenty minutes late. Hope you understand”. And what does that person in the restaurant do, says no problem, they’ll wait. As if making the call on the cell phone eradicates the error the ways of the person who is unpunctual. It doesn’t; it’s still rude to leave someone waiting in the restaurant alone.
Before cell phones came into existence there probably was a lot more punctuality. If for no other reason than the fact it was more difficult to mask bad behaviour. In the above-mentioned example, it meant you had to find a telephone book to look up the restaurant’s telephone number, call up, go through the agonising embarrassing experience of describing your friend to the proprietor and explain your predicament, ask the proprietor to make excuses for you, and you didn’t know whether you friend would still be at the restaurant when you arrived… You get my drift; it was just easier to be on time.
This is, of course, rather a minor incident, but it is just one of many. Take the example of couples that constantly send sms, emails, or call each other on their cell phones throughout the day. Some people find this cute; they think this indicates a connectivity or closeness. Other, myself included, feel this is a form of harassment and indicates a lack of respect for personal boundaries. Fortunately, I’ve never had anyone who felt the need to contact me throughout the day, but I have had the annoying experience of sitting across from a colleague whose partner “communicated” with her an average of once or twice an hour.
Where is all of this accessibility getting us? Do we have to unite and claim a right to proper civil behaviour again, both at home and in the office? Maybe we can start by turning off all of the devices, voluntarily, during a family dinner, in church, during a concert, over a conversation with a friend who needs our full attention, or even during a bus or train ride (no one wants to listen in on “informal” business meetings), or while waiting in a waiting line at the grocery store (I don’t want to listen to the person standing behind me tell her boyfriend about what she is going to make for dinner that evening).
Don’t get me wrong; I’m a Digital Gal. I absolutely embrace and feel excited about digital media. I just would like a bit of respect.
The gist of my friend’s and my ensuing discussion is that we are convinced that all the different forms of communication media isn’t helping us to communicate better and it is also possibly resulting in poor social behaviour. And this, purely because social etiquette instructions are missing in all the devices’ operational manuals.
Just a quick example about what I mean by social misbehaviour… Years ago it was socially unacceptable to be late for a dinner date. Now you just call the person on their cell phone and say something mundane like, “Sorry, blah blah blah (Excuse 1, Unforseen Circumstance 2, Lie 3) and so I’ll be twenty minutes late. Hope you understand”. And what does that person in the restaurant do, says no problem, they’ll wait. As if making the call on the cell phone eradicates the error the ways of the person who is unpunctual. It doesn’t; it’s still rude to leave someone waiting in the restaurant alone.
Before cell phones came into existence there probably was a lot more punctuality. If for no other reason than the fact it was more difficult to mask bad behaviour. In the above-mentioned example, it meant you had to find a telephone book to look up the restaurant’s telephone number, call up, go through the agonising embarrassing experience of describing your friend to the proprietor and explain your predicament, ask the proprietor to make excuses for you, and you didn’t know whether you friend would still be at the restaurant when you arrived… You get my drift; it was just easier to be on time.
This is, of course, rather a minor incident, but it is just one of many. Take the example of couples that constantly send sms, emails, or call each other on their cell phones throughout the day. Some people find this cute; they think this indicates a connectivity or closeness. Other, myself included, feel this is a form of harassment and indicates a lack of respect for personal boundaries. Fortunately, I’ve never had anyone who felt the need to contact me throughout the day, but I have had the annoying experience of sitting across from a colleague whose partner “communicated” with her an average of once or twice an hour.
Where is all of this accessibility getting us? Do we have to unite and claim a right to proper civil behaviour again, both at home and in the office? Maybe we can start by turning off all of the devices, voluntarily, during a family dinner, in church, during a concert, over a conversation with a friend who needs our full attention, or even during a bus or train ride (no one wants to listen in on “informal” business meetings), or while waiting in a waiting line at the grocery store (I don’t want to listen to the person standing behind me tell her boyfriend about what she is going to make for dinner that evening).
Don’t get me wrong; I’m a Digital Gal. I absolutely embrace and feel excited about digital media. I just would like a bit of respect.
lilalia 
1 Comments:
There's something else that I heartily dislike: Often when two people are walking together you'll see one of them using his phone. The other one looks vaguely bored. Very unpolite.
And I always feel very uncomfortable when having to listen to other people's phone conversations. "Hello. I'm on the train. Yes, I'll get to you. I'll phone you when I'm at the station." The next thing will be people using their cell phones to talk to each other while being together. Just wait.
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